Happy Birthday to Moi!!! 31 Years!!

In my next thirty years….. (you know the song… Tim McGraw sings it!) Well, I’ve been 30 for an entire year, and this morning at 7:51, I officially turned 31. It got me thinking about what I want to accomplish in my next thirty years. It also got me thinking about what a huge difference a year makes. One full year, and 125 pounds later, I’m one full year older, and closer to my goal than I have been since I’ve been obese!

Last year, I was a huge puffy blob (didn’t feel like it at the time, but looking back at pictures, I was!) My first thirty years were fine. They were full of adventures and struggles, and not once did I ever attribute any struggles to my weight. I never let it get in the way of the things I wanted to do. I’m just determined. J So in my next thirty years… I am going to celebrate. I’m going to live! One of my dear close friends gave me a note today that says the following….

“Christie- Happy Birthday! New job, new clothes, new man, kick ass body and new adventures. Here’s to getting in front of the camera and living out loud so you don’t pinch yourself when you’re 80 and think it was a dream!... Love you! “

That brought tears to my eyes.. Why? I’ve lived behind the camera since I could remember. Yes, I’ve lived, but I’ve lived trying to capture memories for other people. Yes, I get paid to capture memories for other people, but when I am not getting paid, I still capture those memories on camera. However, I don’t have the pictures of me in those “memories”. I was there, I lived them as well. So, in my next thirty years, I’m going to get in the picture! I’m going to take on life, and have pictures of me doing just that! I’ll LET other people take a picture of me!

Here are the ten things I’m going to do in my Next Thirty Years….

1. 1. Exercise more

2. 2. Go to Europe and walk the streets with ease

3. 3. Run/walk a marathon for Cancer awareness on a yearly basis

4. 4. Enjoy my family and friends more

5. 5. Eat healthier meals

6. 6. Love a little more (love myself a little more too)

7. 7. Live in the moment

8. 8. Laugh more

9. 9. Share my story (we all have one)

10. 10. Allow myself to be loved!

So, to end this blog for today…. Happy Birthday to ME! Here is to Living Out Loud!!!! Here is to living the dream, but having the pictures to prove it! I’m going to be the BEST person that I can be, inside AND out!!

O-U-T-C-A-S-T

I’m beginning to feel like an outcast. There! I said it! O-U-T-C-A-S-T! I’m being cast aside by my former Plus Size stores, comfort zones, known clothes that fit my body and basically; my former fat self. Now don’t get me wrong, being ostracized from my former fat world is a good thing!!! But, now, I’m feeling a little out of place! My entire life I’ve been “Plus Sized” and now, I’m not! I don’t fit in the plus sized clothing, and this should be a GREAT thing!! However, I’ve never shopped for something NOT plus sized before.

I don’t know what stores to shop in, I don’t know what clothes to look at. In my former fat world, certain clothing items were completely UNACCEPTABLE to wear, so I followed the rules of fat person clothing options, and opted not to choose those items. Even the undergarments were relatively plain jane! But now, there are options… For color, ruffles, bows, pretty polka dots, etc. Plain was never bad, and I still like the white, beige, and black trio. It all worked well for me, because I was always told that I dressed well. Well… Now I fit in things!

I am just a little confused with myself! Do I wear the shorter skirts (Which, in non fat world, the skirts are EXTREMELY short, and maybe it’s just that I’m not used to it…), do I get away with wearing the trendier things? My former style is being thrown out the window, and I’m confused! What looks good? What doesn’t look good? I’m not trying to hide behind things anymore, so I don’t need to camouflage things. Can I wear the tighter shirts without looking like a trashy lady?

The more weight I lose, the more I am beginning to wonder what my style is. I know as a fat person I had style. I had great style for a larger lady. I commend myself on that. Now, I have to figure it all out again! I want to be trendy, but not trashy! There are way too many choices to choose from, and my mind is going into overdrive. In my fat days, I could go into a plus size woman retail establishment (LB) and know exactly what size to get of something, and what would look good. I didn’t even have to try it on. Now, I try everything on, and I end up putting the majority of it back. Just too much to choose from!!

Maybe I should not say I’m an Outcast of the fat world. More like a confused newbie to the skinny world. I need style help!!

Oh, and I know I haven’t updated my blog.. but… On November 2, 2009, I had Gastric Bypass Surgery. Since that day, I’ve lost a total of 125 lbs. Yes, I’m damn proud of myself!!! It has not been easy!! I have a new job! I love it! My photography business has picked up quite a bit, and I’m finally feeling like the me I always knew I was!! :-)

Oh what a year can do!

Wow! Have I really been absent for that long??? Indeed I have!

The perils of unemployment had zapped my love and desire for writing a blog. I am getting back to it though! When I lost my job last year, I decided to live my life for myself! I have been trying to get my photography business up and running, I have travelled, spent time with family, spent time with friends, spent lovely time with my amazing niece, and most importantly, saved my life!

Yes, I did say "Saved My Life". On November 2, 2009, I underwent Gastric Bypass Surgery. During surgery, I aspirated during the extubation process, and that caused me to have pneumonia. My surgery was on a Monday, and on Tuesday, I remember Mom and Dad had gone to go get coffee, and my sister was sitting with me. I turned to her and told her to call a nurse immediately because I think my fever just spiked. Apparently, nurses take that stuff seriously. :-) Thank Goodness!! I was wheeled down to have xrays and a leak test done. Leak Tests involve drinking the NASTIEST of concoctions so that the medical team can check to see if there are any leaks in your new "Pouch". I had no desire to drink anything, and made someone stand next to me with a bucket just in case the concoction did not agree with me. I was fine. :) The leak test proved negative for leaks, but they did notice that my lungs looked somewhat foggy.
Xrays revealed Pneumonia! LOVELY!! Try coughing when your insides have just been sliced and diced and rearranged! Not fun! I had to cough holding a pillow. I looked forward to the breathing treatments though, because that offered me some sort of comfort.

Pneumonia afforded me one extra day stay in the hospital, and a couple of CT scans. However, on Thursday, I was able to go home! I had the most amazing nurses and my surgeon was AMAZING!!!

Since then, I have officially lost 101 lbs (as of today). I fit in clothes that I never thought possible! I have more energy, I work out, I see my future! It looks good! The only thing that would make it better??? FINDING A JOB!!!! I can't rely on photography as my primary income, I break even with that. I see the light at the end of the unemployment tunnel though! There is a job out there for me that I will be very happy at, I know it!

Everyday is a new day, and I am happy to know that I am no longer Morbidly Obese! My decision to go through with the surgery saved my life!

I will update more often, I promise! :-) I am hoping to get back into the swing of blogging regularly, although, I never was the regular blogger.

Love to you all!