Happy Birthday to Moi!!! 31 Years!!

In my next thirty years….. (you know the song… Tim McGraw sings it!) Well, I’ve been 30 for an entire year, and this morning at 7:51, I officially turned 31. It got me thinking about what I want to accomplish in my next thirty years. It also got me thinking about what a huge difference a year makes. One full year, and 125 pounds later, I’m one full year older, and closer to my goal than I have been since I’ve been obese!

Last year, I was a huge puffy blob (didn’t feel like it at the time, but looking back at pictures, I was!) My first thirty years were fine. They were full of adventures and struggles, and not once did I ever attribute any struggles to my weight. I never let it get in the way of the things I wanted to do. I’m just determined. J So in my next thirty years… I am going to celebrate. I’m going to live! One of my dear close friends gave me a note today that says the following….

“Christie- Happy Birthday! New job, new clothes, new man, kick ass body and new adventures. Here’s to getting in front of the camera and living out loud so you don’t pinch yourself when you’re 80 and think it was a dream!... Love you! “

That brought tears to my eyes.. Why? I’ve lived behind the camera since I could remember. Yes, I’ve lived, but I’ve lived trying to capture memories for other people. Yes, I get paid to capture memories for other people, but when I am not getting paid, I still capture those memories on camera. However, I don’t have the pictures of me in those “memories”. I was there, I lived them as well. So, in my next thirty years, I’m going to get in the picture! I’m going to take on life, and have pictures of me doing just that! I’ll LET other people take a picture of me!

Here are the ten things I’m going to do in my Next Thirty Years….

1. 1. Exercise more

2. 2. Go to Europe and walk the streets with ease

3. 3. Run/walk a marathon for Cancer awareness on a yearly basis

4. 4. Enjoy my family and friends more

5. 5. Eat healthier meals

6. 6. Love a little more (love myself a little more too)

7. 7. Live in the moment

8. 8. Laugh more

9. 9. Share my story (we all have one)

10. 10. Allow myself to be loved!

So, to end this blog for today…. Happy Birthday to ME! Here is to Living Out Loud!!!! Here is to living the dream, but having the pictures to prove it! I’m going to be the BEST person that I can be, inside AND out!!

O-U-T-C-A-S-T

I’m beginning to feel like an outcast. There! I said it! O-U-T-C-A-S-T! I’m being cast aside by my former Plus Size stores, comfort zones, known clothes that fit my body and basically; my former fat self. Now don’t get me wrong, being ostracized from my former fat world is a good thing!!! But, now, I’m feeling a little out of place! My entire life I’ve been “Plus Sized” and now, I’m not! I don’t fit in the plus sized clothing, and this should be a GREAT thing!! However, I’ve never shopped for something NOT plus sized before.

I don’t know what stores to shop in, I don’t know what clothes to look at. In my former fat world, certain clothing items were completely UNACCEPTABLE to wear, so I followed the rules of fat person clothing options, and opted not to choose those items. Even the undergarments were relatively plain jane! But now, there are options… For color, ruffles, bows, pretty polka dots, etc. Plain was never bad, and I still like the white, beige, and black trio. It all worked well for me, because I was always told that I dressed well. Well… Now I fit in things!

I am just a little confused with myself! Do I wear the shorter skirts (Which, in non fat world, the skirts are EXTREMELY short, and maybe it’s just that I’m not used to it…), do I get away with wearing the trendier things? My former style is being thrown out the window, and I’m confused! What looks good? What doesn’t look good? I’m not trying to hide behind things anymore, so I don’t need to camouflage things. Can I wear the tighter shirts without looking like a trashy lady?

The more weight I lose, the more I am beginning to wonder what my style is. I know as a fat person I had style. I had great style for a larger lady. I commend myself on that. Now, I have to figure it all out again! I want to be trendy, but not trashy! There are way too many choices to choose from, and my mind is going into overdrive. In my fat days, I could go into a plus size woman retail establishment (LB) and know exactly what size to get of something, and what would look good. I didn’t even have to try it on. Now, I try everything on, and I end up putting the majority of it back. Just too much to choose from!!

Maybe I should not say I’m an Outcast of the fat world. More like a confused newbie to the skinny world. I need style help!!

Oh, and I know I haven’t updated my blog.. but… On November 2, 2009, I had Gastric Bypass Surgery. Since that day, I’ve lost a total of 125 lbs. Yes, I’m damn proud of myself!!! It has not been easy!! I have a new job! I love it! My photography business has picked up quite a bit, and I’m finally feeling like the me I always knew I was!! :-)