One Fine Day......

One year ago today, the world lost one of the most beautiful people to ever walk this earth and I lost a beautiful friend Tina. I can’t believe it’s been one full year already. Her children are 1 year older, her gravesite, one year older. The anger towards the person that inflicted her death, has not gone away. He took a mother from her two beautiful children, and a daughter away from her parents, a sister from her brothers, and a friend from her friends. Jail almost doesn’t feel adequate. My views of the adequacy of the punishment are far worse than what Tina would have wanted. She was the gentlest person, the kindest person, and most importantly, the most forgiving of persons. I know she would want us to forgive him for doing this to her. Why is it so hard to forgive him? I’m guessing because in a lifetime, one year isn’t such a long time. Time heals, right? I’m having a tough time forgiving, because he took such a wonderful mother and such an amazing friend.

The one year anniversary of Tina’s death is also a day for celebration. My mother finished her last round of Chemo today. They gave her a “graduation” certificate, balloons, and flowers etc. The past 8 months have been nothing but a spiral of frustrations, heartaches, emotions, challenges, and younameits. We’re all ready to have this chemo over and done with! It’s so hard to watch your mother go through chemo that drains the energy from the one person who you always thought was invincible. “Mom’s don’t get sick!” Well, reality is… they do… They just try to hide it, but sometimes their bodies have other ideas. I’m so thankful that my Mother’s cancer was caught so early. I’m so fortunate that she has had the BEST care from doctors and nurses, not to mention my father. I can only hope to one day find and marry a man as magnificent as he is.


So, Today is a bittersweet day.

My Dog is SOOOO Smart!!

Last night was our first night of Agility Classes. Bella LOVED it!! I am so excited about the future in agility with her. She definitely needs the training, but I think this just may be her thing! Our thing! Something she and I can do together to build up our confidence! Towards the end of the class, Bella was starting to trust me more and more with leading her through the first few structures on the course. She’s always trusted me, but she likes to do her own thing when she’s on leash. But last night, she started to “get it”. She started the night out with her tail between her legs, and stood right next to me, almost as if she were afraid to move. She was so nervous that she wouldn’t even take a treat from me. Over the course of the hour though, she slowly but surely let go of some of that nervous energy, and was actually going up to people and wanting to be petted by them. The instructor does not want us to let our dogs socialize with one another so that the focus on the time with the dog and the owner and allowing that time to be focused fun with the two of us. The dogs will lose focus if they are too interested in the other dogs around them. Bella did not bark, cry, whimper, snarl, hide, or any of her other notorious reactions. She was so well behaved, and I was so proud of her! I think she knew how proud I was of her. Towards the end of the class, she was becoming more confident and as we crossed over the tall ramp structure, the downward side of it, Bella’s tail went from still tucked, to up and wagging.
I’m so excited to work with her on all of this!!! Maybe one of these days she’ll win a ribbon or compete in agility trials or something! :-) I’m not going to get my hopes up, but I cannot wait to see what the future holds with agility!
I love my dog!!!

And so I thank the Lord....

......for giving me, the things I need, the sun and the rain and the apple seed, the Lord's been good to me...



I just realized that I have not posted any Hawaii pictures. Gosh, I feel like that was so long ago. Almost as if it were a dream, and sort of like it didn’t happen. I’m glad that I took pictures, or else I wouldn’t have believed I was there at all. So much has been going on that I haven’t focused on vacation. I’m so glad we went, because no one knows what the future holds. The doctor actually told us he wanted us to go ahead and go. I think we’ll just go ahead and chalk 2008 as the year of crappy circumstances. With the only bright moment being that “BeeBug” will be joining us this year. :-)


So instead of talking about Mom’s cancer, and all of the depressing things that go along with that, I’m going to do a little list of things I’m thankful for….

1. My Family first and foremost. My parents continue to amaze me every day, and I hope one day to have a love like theirs. I should only be so lucky!!

2. My dog. No matter how darn crazy she may seem sometimes, and how annoying she is to others in the neighborhood, she is honestly the light of my life. Sounds crazy to call a dog your light of your life, but it’s true. She barks relentlessly at random things, and gets spooked very easily by quick moving objects and barks at those too. Sometimes I wish I could just make her stop, but it teaches me patience. Although I’m not sure it’s teaching the neighbors that. :-)

3. My friendships. I value my friendships even more now than I ever have. Life it too short for drama. I think I’ve mentioned one time before that I reconnected with a friend that I had up in Boone when I went to school there. I feel so blessed to have him back in my life that words can’t even describe. He taught me a lot, regardless of whether he knew it or not, when we were at ASU. He teaches me so much more now. This guy has a definitive purpose on this earth. He may not know exactly what that is just yet, but I do know that when he finds it, he’ll surprise himself and others at how amazing that purpose is.

4. Health Insurance!!! I’m not quite sure how anyone goes without this!!! I’m all for universal healthcare for children 18 and under, as well as for Students attending college. However, when it comes to working individuals… You can’t AFFORD to NOT pay every paycheck. Those people who say that they can’t afford to have the $50+ taken from their paycheck… Just wait until something happens to you and you have to go to the doctor.. you end up with a bill for $10K… That’s something you REALLY can’t afford!

5. As much as I can’t stand my job sometimes, and as much as it really irritates me to the point where I feel like I have to complain, I am VERY thankful that I still have a job. I have excellent benefits, including a great 401K program. I do enjoy who I work with, and I think that is half the battle. Although it would help if there were a few extra people around here to cross train with some of the things that I do. At least I have things to do. I know I get stressed out and want to throw in the towel, but at least I have the stress and the towel.

If you are reading this blog.. What is one thing you are thankful for?

Alright.. I’m going to get back to work.. (that’s another thing I’m thankful for… I can blog at work! When I’m supposed to be working.. when I have a whole bunch of stuff to work on.. thank goodness that they allow breaks every now and then!)

Love to you all!

And I leave you with a few Hawaii Pictures.. haha

Dear God, it's me, Christie..

I am having a “Dear God, It’s me, Margaret.” moment, right now. I’m sitting here trying to wrap my brain around the reality that my mother has cancer. She underwent her third chemo treatment yesterday and I think now the reality is haunting me. Her second chemo treatment went well, but when she got home, she took a nap, and woke up with a fever that was quite vengeful. By the end of the night it had spiked to 102.something. It landed her a dandy little trip to the emergency room to be poked and prodded and bled to figure out what was making her sick. After being pumped full of fluids and antibiotics, she was allowed to come home and rest. We still don’t know what caused it. We thought it was just a virus. That is, until yesterday. Mom underwent the chemo, did fine throughout the whole day, and then in the evening, she struck another fever. This time it was not so vengeful, but every bit as worrisome. We were all concerned about her, but I hate that Dad feels he has to carry the burden by himself. The doctors this morning again poked and prodded her and drew blood to check for any blips. Now, they seem to think that Mom may have developed an antibody to the chemo on the first treatment, and then when she went back, her system is trying to fight the foreign substances flowing through her veins that are supposed to be killing the foreign little cancer buggers.
My Dear God moment was just now, as I was completing a report for work, and the sun just all of a sudden came out (it was very overcast this AM). I’m sitting here thinking Holy Crap, this really is real to my life. I’ve been having some heart to hearts with God about helping Mom beat this thing, and let her get through the worst parts of this chemo. I sure hope He’s listening!
I think I’ve also been having a pity party for myself. Work has been rather hellish and overwhelming lately. I finally got a raise yesterday. Which I’m thrilled about and Thankful for! I just feel like I don’t have the time to sit and absorb the things that are happening around me. That in turn, causes a lot of stress. So again, I have a “Dear God” moment asking for things to stop spinning so quickly so that I can catch up without getting too dizzy. Then I have to ask myself if I would actually try to catch up or if I would sit there and feel sorry for myself. Probably the latter.. I just wish that this year would slow down! I can’t believe it’s already April, and in October Beebug will be joining the family.  Beebug is my new little niece or nephew that is due to make their grand entrance on or near October 19, 2008.
I guess BeeBug will be our shining star and the hope that everything will be okay.
I just had to vent for a little bit. Thank Goodness for the blogosphere world! 

I cannot believe this!!

http://www.wbns10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2008/03/31/dogs.html?sid=102

I want to know, WHO IN THE HELL LET THIS “Dog Warden” CONTINUE TO BE “Dog Warden” after 2002?!?!?!?
How in the world could anyone allow someone to remain in their position (a DOG WARDEN!!!) after they shot over 600 adult canines and puppies directly in the head? A Warden is considered to be an official charged with the enforcement of certain laws and regulations. I’m pretty sure that this constitutes inhumane and illegal actions, and he should have been arrested and charged like all of the other animal cruelty cases in America! Shooting an animal in the head, much less 600 of them, doesn’t really sound like this “dog” warden enforcing animal cruelty regulations. He should have been terminated in 2002! Why is it now, all of a sudden shocking to find that there is a mass dog graveyard out behind one of this “warden’s” shelters? It’s not shocking! It’s pathetic! What made someone think that this wouldn’t happen again? Is there a lack of people willing to take on the position of “dog” warden? I can think of numerous organizations that would have stepped up to take on the task until a suitable candidate was in place. Morgan County officials should be ashamed of themselves for even allowing this barbaric idiot to go back into his position. I hope that they get their act together! This guy needs some serious help and this county needs some serious help! I am disgusted by this story, and disgusted that after 2002 this man was allowed to go back into his job as if everything was okay! Let me tell you, this is NOT okay! WAKE UP!!!!
No, I am not an extreme animal lover, nor am I a member of PETA. I am however a member of the human race. Get this guy off of the streets and sitting behind a bars instead of just letting him off to be on unpaid administrative duty. He needs to be sitting his behind bars away from any animal or human!

I’m sorry to get high up on my soap box, but I just couldn’t help myself with this one. There are very few things that piss me off as much as this does.

I hope that justice is served!!

Cancer is a Bi**h

So I’ve attempted to write this blog for so long now. I’ve actually written it, I just have never posted it, and I lose the information because I don’t save them. My life has been quite busy lately. Mom was diagnosed with Stage III colon cancer in mid January. She had surgery to remove an 18 inch section of her colon that contained a large malignant tumor. During the surgery, the doctor routinely removed 52 lymph nodes that surrounded the tumor, and sent them off for testing. Of the 52 that were removed, the cancer had spread to two of them.
Mom is now undergoing chemo treatments every other week. She is going through the Folfox chemo treatments, which is a combination of three different types of chemo. The first two are administered at the Oncology center, and she is sent home hooked up to a portable pack with the third drug. (She has a port that they surgically placed before chemo started three weeks ago). She wears the pack for two days after her chemo treatments/ cocktail parties and then goes in to have it removed.
Yesterday, we had a rough day. It was mom’s second chemo treatment, and yesterday afternoon, she spiked a high fever (102.6 is the highest it got), and after consulting with the doctors at the Oncology center, they advised her to head to the emergency room to have blood drawn and x-rays performed to see if there was an infection anywhere. They also dosed her full of antibiotics via IV as well as a bag of fluids. She was sent home last night, and had a restful sleep, and has not had a high fever today. It is still there, but not as high as it was yesterday.
It is a little scary to see your parents sick like this. We’re all realistically optimistic about all of this, but it is sobering to see it all first hand. Everyone has this idea that cancer only happens to other people, and “Not my family”. But in all actuality, Cancer does happen… To everybody. We all know of someone, love someone; or we are that someone who has had to fight the cancer battle, and if it’s not a member of our family, it is someone that we know. In a way, we deny having connections to it, only because it makes us feel better for the short term. In a way, that denial just makes the feeling ten fold. I have found that by talking about what Mom is going through, and researching everything, I am acknowledging that this is my life. If I don’t handle it now, it’s going to catch up with me in the long run.
Mom will end her chemo treatments in September. This is great because we found out in February that Brian and Lauren are going to have a baby (due October 19). This will be the first grandchild born. Susan and I will officially be Aunts!!! We are thrilled! This miracle gives Mom something to look forward to at the end of the tunnel of chemo.
Well, I need to run for now. I wanted to update everyone and let everyone know how Mom is doing.
I am hoping to post pictures of Hawaii, and events in between a little later on.

Love to you all, and keep praying for Mom!!!

I'm trying

I'm going to try to get this back up and blogging. There is so much to blog about. I've just been super busy with life and we all know how that goes. Bear with me... :-) In the meantime... take a look at my "tag" haha