Dear God, it's me, Christie..

I am having a “Dear God, It’s me, Margaret.” moment, right now. I’m sitting here trying to wrap my brain around the reality that my mother has cancer. She underwent her third chemo treatment yesterday and I think now the reality is haunting me. Her second chemo treatment went well, but when she got home, she took a nap, and woke up with a fever that was quite vengeful. By the end of the night it had spiked to 102.something. It landed her a dandy little trip to the emergency room to be poked and prodded and bled to figure out what was making her sick. After being pumped full of fluids and antibiotics, she was allowed to come home and rest. We still don’t know what caused it. We thought it was just a virus. That is, until yesterday. Mom underwent the chemo, did fine throughout the whole day, and then in the evening, she struck another fever. This time it was not so vengeful, but every bit as worrisome. We were all concerned about her, but I hate that Dad feels he has to carry the burden by himself. The doctors this morning again poked and prodded her and drew blood to check for any blips. Now, they seem to think that Mom may have developed an antibody to the chemo on the first treatment, and then when she went back, her system is trying to fight the foreign substances flowing through her veins that are supposed to be killing the foreign little cancer buggers.
My Dear God moment was just now, as I was completing a report for work, and the sun just all of a sudden came out (it was very overcast this AM). I’m sitting here thinking Holy Crap, this really is real to my life. I’ve been having some heart to hearts with God about helping Mom beat this thing, and let her get through the worst parts of this chemo. I sure hope He’s listening!
I think I’ve also been having a pity party for myself. Work has been rather hellish and overwhelming lately. I finally got a raise yesterday. Which I’m thrilled about and Thankful for! I just feel like I don’t have the time to sit and absorb the things that are happening around me. That in turn, causes a lot of stress. So again, I have a “Dear God” moment asking for things to stop spinning so quickly so that I can catch up without getting too dizzy. Then I have to ask myself if I would actually try to catch up or if I would sit there and feel sorry for myself. Probably the latter.. I just wish that this year would slow down! I can’t believe it’s already April, and in October Beebug will be joining the family.  Beebug is my new little niece or nephew that is due to make their grand entrance on or near October 19, 2008.
I guess BeeBug will be our shining star and the hope that everything will be okay.
I just had to vent for a little bit. Thank Goodness for the blogosphere world! 

Cancer is a Bi**h

So I’ve attempted to write this blog for so long now. I’ve actually written it, I just have never posted it, and I lose the information because I don’t save them. My life has been quite busy lately. Mom was diagnosed with Stage III colon cancer in mid January. She had surgery to remove an 18 inch section of her colon that contained a large malignant tumor. During the surgery, the doctor routinely removed 52 lymph nodes that surrounded the tumor, and sent them off for testing. Of the 52 that were removed, the cancer had spread to two of them.
Mom is now undergoing chemo treatments every other week. She is going through the Folfox chemo treatments, which is a combination of three different types of chemo. The first two are administered at the Oncology center, and she is sent home hooked up to a portable pack with the third drug. (She has a port that they surgically placed before chemo started three weeks ago). She wears the pack for two days after her chemo treatments/ cocktail parties and then goes in to have it removed.
Yesterday, we had a rough day. It was mom’s second chemo treatment, and yesterday afternoon, she spiked a high fever (102.6 is the highest it got), and after consulting with the doctors at the Oncology center, they advised her to head to the emergency room to have blood drawn and x-rays performed to see if there was an infection anywhere. They also dosed her full of antibiotics via IV as well as a bag of fluids. She was sent home last night, and had a restful sleep, and has not had a high fever today. It is still there, but not as high as it was yesterday.
It is a little scary to see your parents sick like this. We’re all realistically optimistic about all of this, but it is sobering to see it all first hand. Everyone has this idea that cancer only happens to other people, and “Not my family”. But in all actuality, Cancer does happen… To everybody. We all know of someone, love someone; or we are that someone who has had to fight the cancer battle, and if it’s not a member of our family, it is someone that we know. In a way, we deny having connections to it, only because it makes us feel better for the short term. In a way, that denial just makes the feeling ten fold. I have found that by talking about what Mom is going through, and researching everything, I am acknowledging that this is my life. If I don’t handle it now, it’s going to catch up with me in the long run.
Mom will end her chemo treatments in September. This is great because we found out in February that Brian and Lauren are going to have a baby (due October 19). This will be the first grandchild born. Susan and I will officially be Aunts!!! We are thrilled! This miracle gives Mom something to look forward to at the end of the tunnel of chemo.
Well, I need to run for now. I wanted to update everyone and let everyone know how Mom is doing.
I am hoping to post pictures of Hawaii, and events in between a little later on.

Love to you all, and keep praying for Mom!!!